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On the A/V Outside

I’m the one that puts those large-font quotes in the middle of the page…but technical data about video and acoustics and stuff could be written in Sanskrit as far as I’m concerned.

On the A/V Outside

Jul 20, 2001 12:00 PM,
Daniel Ari

Check out the masthead of our fine magazine. Specifically, look atthe name second to the top. Go ahead, I’ll wait.

Are you back? Yep, that’s me, the senior associate editor.Either you’re totally awe-struck, or you’re wondering whatI actually do around here with that three-word title. Well, I’lltell you: I read. I read everything in this publication very carefully.I trim the diction, straighten the commas, prune the prepositions. Iput in sidebars and those large-font quotes in the middle of the page.I protect you, the reader, by taking out all the bad jokes that ourwriters include. Then I put in my own bad jokes instead. That helps theoverall voice of the magazine hang together.

But where the features and columns go into detailed technical dataabout video and acoustics and stuff, they could be written in Sanskritas far as I’m concerned. I confess that my grasp of A/V workingshovers right around flat zero. Nat Hecht, on the other hand, knows allthe technical stuff. That’s why he’s first on themasthead.

Now, I’m not completely lost in the tech world.I’ve been here almost a year and have figured out enough tounderstand that ANSI lumens isn’t a typographical errorfor antileukemic, meaning “countering the effects of leukemia.”But I still can’t tell you what ANSI lumens are and how theydiffer from normal, everyday lumens. I was very proud of myself,however, when I caught the error in a sentence about a digital consolethat featured 160 to 3320 audio channels. I scribbled a red questionmark next to that one.

Not that you should trust me with your equipment. I play music withsome guys, and they have dubbed me “Doctor Feedback” for my uncannyability to make anything emit piercing electronic wails. This includesacoustic instruments and even bottles of beer. So, though my learningcurve is steep, I am not yet to be trusted on an installation.

So what is this web-based ramble all about? Well, theywouldn’t give me anything in the magazine itself… My goal,though, is to give some perspective on industry issues from a mainlyunqualified point of view. I will say things that the industry expertsare too scared, too close-minded—basically too intelligent tosay. What I bring to the table is what Zen Buddhists call”beginner’s mind.” It’s what my father would call “talkingout of your….”

You may not find enlightenment here, but I hope it will at least beworth a chuckle or two, even if they are at my expense. Regardless, Ihope you’ll consider this oasis from shoptalk an entertainingdistraction from work. And by the way, coffee break is now over; so getback to the grindstone, chuckles.

But do stop by again for more outside input.

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